What Is An Exchange Student?

An Exchange Student is a person who is studying in a foreign country and living with a host family. They are of high school or college age.

So what did I do? I muscled my way into Holland, where they wanted me! 

I sure hope this works! I researched Germany first and have been learning the language.
After their rejection, I slacked off and took the first country that would have me.

Student Exchange Netherlands, https://asse.com/student_countries/holland dominates the exchange programs for the Netherlands for every upcoming year!

What Did I Know?

I filled out the questionnaire when I applied to become an exchange student in The Netherlands.

They asked the question “What is your main motivation for being an exchange student in our country?”

I answered, “So I can learn to speak Dutch fluently”. I was on a roll! I answered every question thrown at me!

I thought I was cool and that my answers were sure to land me a spot in The Netherlands!
Be careful what you wish for!

How sincere was that? I initially applied for a placement in Germany, so I could learn German!
So now I had to learn Dutch… Deal with it.

What Is An Exchange Student To Do?

We had to ride a bicycle to school!
At home, I drove my own car. I parked in the high school parking lot,
next to the teachers’ cars! 

As exchange students in The Netherlands, we were not allowed to drive.
I never take the time to read the fine print; this was a failing on mine.
Life was going to be different around here for sure!

Don’t drink and don’t do drugs, including marijuana.
Most families drink wine with their meals, starting from the age of 14. 

Well, this might loosen things up, but I don’t actually drink because I am underage in my country too. And my parents are strict about drugs and alcohol. 

Oh and sometimes we will have to take a bus someplace, and the metro!
What? (Wat?) Are they still riding the horse and buggy around here? 

And Now For Some Basic History:

Maybe this was a bad idea. It’s hard to back out now because my Mom’s parents – my grandparents – came from the Netherlands. My Dad’s parents are from Germany.

Why don’t they just call it Holland? That’s where I thought I was going!
Oh... Because Holland is actually a province… I did not know that because I did not do any research.

That very word, “nether”–lands makes me think of a remote and dark place. 
And maybe for the Romans, it did appear to be way off to the ends of the earth, which is obviously flat.

Noah Country!

I don’t think they had dykes in the Netherlands back in the day, so the flooding was horrific! 

In 1287 a massive storm hit the coastline and caused major flooding in the Zuiderzee… 50,000 people died! 

And that is the FIRST flood recorded in weather history. 
It was also the worst flood recorded in weather history… to this day! … So far.

Get Used To The Guidelines!

How you answer questions plays a big part in who you are paired with as your host family.
Well, I thought this was just a guideline. 

Every exchange student who went to someone’s home overseas, came out speaking their language, fluently… Right? I just assumed that this was the case!

What did I need to worry about?

The Fantasy:

What if they wanted to learn English from me? Hey, this is cool!
I don’t have to sweat it; I can just speak and they’ll like me! How could they not?

I am popular – I am a celebrity! They love having me here!

The Reality:

No… that didn’t happen.
I said I wanted to learn their language. And so I was paired with a family who ONLY spoke Dutch… all the time. Even the kids were in on it.

I could not talk to them alone and speak English.
Not even when we went out clubbing on the weekend! 

I tried working phrases into songs so I could converse in English!
It was resourceful, but it didn’t work.

Even their friends co-operated!.. NO ONE spoke English – at all! 

I tried to sell my idea: hey, don’t you kids want to learn English?
I can help you with that!

Stay with me here; this gets better!

Ten months later I learned that everyone already spoke English as a second – or third – language. They would have loved to practice with me, but no, they immersed me in their language, for my sake!

They had all been through this and they knew every trick I tried – and many more, apparently.

This was tough love… They really liked me!

Help Comes In Mysterious Ways!

In the earlier days, I met Enric.
Enric gave me pointers, but he was not letting me off easy.

He helped to explain what the words meant so that I could relate to what I was saying, but that was it. 

I don’t even understand that sentence but he made me realize I was on my own after that. 

How WAS I going to do this for 12 months?
How could the exchange program do this to me? 

And what did Enric know anyway?
Well, he was an exchange student too, and he knew that I wanted to take the easy way out!

Enric spoke fluent English and picked it up while he visited the United States for one year. Then he was an exchange student in England for five months.

Comparing English between UK and US  was a huge eye-opener for Enric. They were not the same language!.. Enric is confident in either English.

And French... it seems Enric was an exchange student in France too, for six months.

Ok, I get it! This is a good thing all around. 

No one can take away the experience, the customs you learn, and the new language you are now speaking. 

What Are The Customs In The Netherlands?

1. Reserved and conservative, formal and polite.

I met their son:
Me: “Oh hi Peter! Pleased to meetcha!”

He: “My name is Piet! How do you do?” (Hand out for a shake!)
There is just no getting around the formality of the country.

Piet is a nice guy and I learned the custom. He informed me that Hendrik does not like to be called Henry either. 

How-do-I-do? Sheesh!… I couldn’t get used to this all at once.

2. Thrifty, disciplined, and very detailed.

I’ll tell you what this means to them, as they see us: 

As Americans, we are casual. I wonder how often this is an excuse so we can do something “good enough” or to excuse our behavior. 

We are not detailed because we do not focus on the job in front of us.
What are we chasing? Stay in the moment, and finish the job. 

I’ll tell you how this works for me:

I learned how to balance my home and work life. This was a major transformation. I was not to assume that work was more important than my personal life… It isn’t.

I was prompted to have a system between work and my private life.
I learned to have a whole new appreciation for my home and family. 

They would pose the question: “What do you do with the time allowed for each activity, and how does it enrich your life?” This was grist for common conversation and a good life lesson to learn in early adulthood.

3. And, be considerate of others: 

Correct your spelling mistakes.

Really, the readers of your emails are a little annoyed that you did not even try to use proper grammar. Weren’t they worth the trouble?”

BTW: Europeans, as a society, have a tremendous respect for peoples’ language!

4. And shaking hands!

With everyone! I could not even sneak away;
I had to shake hands before I could leave.

I had to look them in the eye, smile, and say, “Goeden Nacht” to EVERY person in the room! 

I figured that leaving could be the longest part of the visit!
It’s their custom; they made it up.

But it is considered bad manners to leave and not say goodbye, so I had to learn this!

“Every person in this room came here to meet you. They want you to acknowledge them!” 

4. King’s Day Celebration

In the Netherlands, celebrations, holidays, and parades are very meaningful in their culture. Each person has civic pride and a fierce loyalty to their homeland.

For the King’s Day celebration, we went on a boat for hours on the canals!
Everyone had to wear orange – so this is why Annalisa gave me the orange blouse for my birthday!

I Thought: Imagine how many international friends I have now.
What if I came back to the Netherlands for a visit?
They want to see me again, too! 

Read: What Is Elite Tourism and see how you can make this happen!

What Did I Get In Return?

This is all about me. The list is not long but really endless.

Once you have lived in another country you have inherited another life!
You can never be the same!

1. I Developed Better Manners:

My table manners were considered atrocious. So what if my elbows were on the table and I cut my meat and rested my knife and ate with one utensil?

I learned to eat European style; now my utensils are placed together in the middle of the plate at the end of the meal.

This tells everyone that I have finished my dinner and that I am neat!
More complimentary, for sure. 

This new habit presents a bigger issue than one might think. In other parts of the world, it is huge how you conduct yourself at a meal, usually prepared in your honor.

Now I can eat anywhere in the world comfortably and my US friends don’t mind it either.
Read: How To Win Friends And Influence People, By Dale Carnegie

2. I Have Developed An Understanding:

There is the open-mindedness one learns when you have lived somewhere else.

This cultural divide has become an interesting development.
We are no longer divided – we are bridged with the knowledge of how to behave in someone else’s terrain.

Yes, I will cover my head in your building. Yes, I will take my shoes off and bow in greeting.
Yes, I will shake hands!

Watch your host for guidance; come on this will be fun!..
Wait until they get to the States! 

3. Now I Can Speak The Vernacular:

Even if you are not fluent in the language you will become familiar with the sound of it and you will know some keywords. 

You are not left helpless. And, this makes you very popular with your friends and family back home! Remember, they know less than you do.

It can be comical to watch, but everyone develops a “sign language” that is no language at all! It goes a long way in expressing yourself!

I have never found this method to be offensive to anyone. On the contrary, it usually ends in laughter and an appreciation that at least you tried!

What if you DO learn to speak the language fluently? How can this help you in Business? 

This is huge and it looks good on your resume to say that you have lived as an exchange student in a foreign country.

Even your boss has not lived overseas, and he is the owner of an international company. Now he is relying on your expertise in the customs and language of a country!

Think of that! … He is liking your style. 

Are you ready to forgive your host family and friends for immersing you in their language? 

That is one of the best things that could ever have happened to you!
Also, you took classes in school that year in Dutch! 
Your eyes are sparkling!

4. The FOOD

What kind of food do they eat? 

I should never have worried that I might starve away from home!
Wow, the food is good! 

I never had Gouda before – it’s a big cheese ball encased in yellow wax… Don’t say “goo-da”, it’s “gouw-da” and roll the g.

Poffertjes (puff-er-kees) is a fluffy little pancake sprinkled with icing sugar, served with fresh fruit! Don’t tell my friends I talk like this… there’s no other way to describe it. 

Stamppot – just like our stews. Root vegetables in beef broth;
add beer and smoked sausage into the pot! Now you’re talking Dutch!

The BREAD! 
The homemade bread – and many women still make their own bread!

Today they use bread machines… doesn’t matter!
This is the way to everyone’s heart! 

Culture Is A Lot Of Things

It’s how we greet people, how we eat, and what we say at certain times. And, how we dress!
But someone’s culture is not to be dismissed or trivialized.

This might be the biggest lesson of all in international travel.

FOR EXAMPLE? …

In the West, it is not acceptable to slurp your food or make noises when you eat.
People do it, but it is not considered polite behavior.

Japan is the country that I consider as most dignified and reserved as well as a strong nation. 
I respect them.

Out of respect for the chef, they slurp their noodles when they eat.
But not if it’s pasta …I get that, slurping is for the local noodles, only. 
(Learn more about Japanese customs here: we’ll tell you!)

If I would ask a person why they slurp their food, I think they would say something like: “It has always been this way.”

And: “It is what gives us our individuality”!

Now couldn’t everyone say the same things about their customs?
It’s up to us to find out!

Regards, Corinne :-)))